Can I "violate" my own order?
Yes. In most states, a petitioner cannot "violate" his/her own order since the order puts limits on an abuser's behavior, not the victim's behavior. However, in Iowa, victims with protective orders can be held in contempt for "aiding and abetting" in the violation of their own protective orders. Basically, this means that if you have a no contact order or a stay away order and you decide to still talk to the abuser or see him/her, you can be charged with helping the abuser violate the order.
1 See Henley v. Iowa District Court for Emmet County, 533 N.W. 2d 199 (1995).