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A parent who has custody, also called legal custody, has the legal right and responsibility to make important life decisions about the child’s:
- legal status;
- medical care;
- education;
- extracurricular activities; and
- religious instruction.1
Joint legal custody means both parents have legal rights. When parents in Iowa have joint legal custody, they participate equally in making the important life decisions for the child.2 However, joint legal custody does not necessarily mean that the child will spend equal time with or live with both parents.
Sole legal custody means that only one parent has the legal right to make important life decisions that affect the child.2
1 Iowa Code § 598.1(5)
2 Iowa Code § 598.1(3)
What is physical care?
Physical care means providing a home and routine care for the child.1
Joint physical care means the parents have equal rights to care for and supervise the child. Both parents keep homes for the child, provide routine care, and share parenting time. 2
Sole physical care, also called primary physical care, means the child regularly lives with one parent who provides routine care for him/her.1 The other parent may or may not have visitation. The parent who the child regularly lives with may be called the “custodial parent.” The other parent may be called the “noncustodial parent.” If you have sole physical care, you are supposed to support your child’s relationship with the other parent.3
1 Iowa Code § 598.1(7)
2 Iowa Code § 598.1(4)
3 Iowa Code § 598.41(5)(b)
What is visitation?
Visitation is the time that a noncustodial parent gets to spend with the child. A parent who does not have legal custody or physical care may still get visitation with the child. Visitation may be unsupervised or supervised.
What are some pros and cons of filing for custody?
There are many reasons people choose not to file for custody. Some parents decide not to get a custody order because they don’t want to get the courts involved. Some parents make an informal agreement that works well for them. Some parents fear that starting a court case will provoke the other parent. They may worry that the other parent will fight for more custody or visits than they are comfortable with.
Even if the other parent is uninvolved with the child now, s/he may become involved when a case is filed in court. Also, if the other parent fights for custody, the case may drag on for a long time. This can be emotionally and financially draining. When you are in court for custody, the judge will look into many aspects of your personal life. For example, the judge may look into your mental health, criminal record, substance abuse issues, and relationships. You may prefer to keep these things private.
On the other hand, getting a custody order from a court can set out what legal rights each of the parents have, which can be a benefit. A custody order can give you the legal rights to make decisions about your child and have your child live with you. Without an order, both parents may share these legal rights, even if one parent takes care of the child daily. However, if you file for custody, the other parent may also request these rights. If you and the other parent don’t agree, the judge will decide what custody arrangement is best for the child. Under Iowa law, a temporary order of custody will also include a visitation schedule for the noncustodial parent unless the judge decides that visitation is not in the child’s best interest.1
It’s important to get advice from a local lawyer. A lawyer can help you decide if filing for custody is best for you based on the facts of your situation. You can find legal help by going to our IA Finding a Lawyer page.
1 Iowa Code § 598.10(1)(b)
Should I start a court case to ask for supervised visitation?
If you’re worried about leaving your child alone with the abuser, you might think about asking a judge to order supervised visits. Supervised visits could be as lenient as having someone else there during the visits to “keep an eye” on things, or it could be as strict as having a professional appointed to observe and report back on the interaction between your child and the other parent. If you are already in court because the abuser filed for visitation or custody, it might be worth asking for supervised visits if you have a good reason. It depends on your situation.
However, if there is no court case going on now, it’s a good idea to talk to a lawyer before you start a case to ask for supervised visits. A custody lawyer in your area can explain what you need to prove to get supervised visits and how long they might last based on what is happening in your case.
Usually, supervised visits are only ordered for a short time but this may be different depending on where you live and who your judge is. The judge might order a professional to watch the visits, or a relative or other person known to either parent might volunteer to be the supervisor. If the supervisor doesn’t report any big problems back to the judge, the visits might become unsupervised. At the end of a case, the other parent might get more frequent and longer visits than s/he had before you went into court. S/he might even get some form of custody.
If your child is in immediate danger from the abuser, you may need to start a case to ask for custody and supervised visits to protect your child. To find out what is best for your situation, you can look for legal advice using our IA Finding a Lawyer page.
Will I have to take a parenting class?
Iowa law requires all parents who are involved in a divorce or a custody and visitation case to attend a court-approved parenting class. The goal is to learn how children are affected by their parents’ separation or divorce.1 The class may be called “Children in the Middle,” “Children in Between,” “Children Cope with Divorce,” or something similar.
Both parents are supposed to take this parenting class within 45 days of the court papers being served. Unless the judge has waived your attendance for a good reason (“good cause”), both parents have to take the class before the judge can issue a final order in your case.1 Each parent must arrange to take the class and pay for the cost.2 Contact the clerk of court in your county to find out which classes are accepted in your county.
1 Iowa Code § 598.15(1)
2 Iowa Code § 598.15(2)
What is mediation?
Mediation is a way to try to resolve a problem without going to trial. A mediator is a trained third party who works with you and the other parent to come to an agreement. You and the other parent would attend one or more sessions with the mediator. Each of you get to explain what you want to happen and why. You also have a chance to respond to each other’s proposals until you hopefully reach an agreement. You have the right to have your lawyer present for the mediation.
If you are able to come to an agreement, the judge will review it. If the judge approves, your agreement will become an enforceable court order.1 If the judge does not approve it, or if you are not able to reach an agreement, the case may go to trial.
During a divorce or custody and visitation case, the judge may order you and the other parent to take part in mediation. However, you can ask the judge to let you skip (waive) mediation if there is a history of domestic abuse in your relationship.2
1 Iowa Code § 598.7(4)(a), (4)(c), (4)(d)
2 Iowa Code § 598.7(1)
What is a parenting plan?
A parenting plan describes the custody and physical care arrangement and spells out when each parent will have time with the child.1 You can come to an agreement on your own or through mediation and give your joint parenting plan to the judge. However, if you cannot agree, the judge will decide and make the order.
If either parent is asking for joint physical care, the judge may require both of you to submit your own proposed parenting plans. Each parent’s plan should explain:
- how you will make decisions affecting your child:
- how you will provide a home for your child;
- how your child’s time will be divided between you;
- how each parent will support your child’s time with the other parent;
- how you will share any expenses that aren’t covered by court-ordered child support;
- how you will resolve major changes or disagreements affecting your child, including changes that arise due to the child’s age and developmental needs; and
- any other issues the judge may require.2
The court has parenting plan forms you can use if you don’t have a lawyer. You can find links to get them on our IA Download Court Forms page.
If you are a domestic violence survivor, the parenting plan needs to be safe for you and your child. The best way to get help making a safe plan is to speak with a lawyer who knows about custody and domestic violence. You can go to our IA Finding a Lawyer page for legal referrals. However, if you’re on your own without a lawyer, you may find it helpful to read 10 Things to Know About Parenting Plans in Cases Involving Domestic Violence.
1 See Iowa R. Civ. P. 17.200-Form 229, Form 230; Iowa R. Civ. P. 17.400-Form 429, Form 430
2 Iowa Code § 598.41(5)(a)
