A parenting plan is a plan that lays out guidelines for parenting your child that takes into account certain “parenting functions” that are defined by Nebraska law.¹ Parenting functions refers to making decisions and performing actions for the care and development of your child, including but not limited to:

1. maintaining a safe, stable, consistent, and nurturing relationship with your child;
2. attending to the ongoing developmental needs of your child, including things like both physical care and emotional stability;
3. providing for your child’s adequate education;  
4. helping your child maintain a relationship with the other parent and family members; and
5. minimizing the child’s exposure to parental conflict.² 

When you file a custody case, the judge may ask you and the other parent to submit a parenting plan that you agree upon, or the judge may send you to mediation to try to develop a plan together. If you cannot reach an agreement, the judge may write a parenting plan on his/her own based upon what s/he believes is in the best interests of your child, taking into account the child’s age, developmental needs, and relationship with each parent.³

¹ NE R.S. § 43-2922(18)
² NE R.S. § 43-2922(17)
³ NE R.S. § 43-2929(1)(a), (5)

Mediation is a process where a third-party mediator works with the parents to try to reach an agreement that is acceptable to both sides about a parenting plan or other family issue.¹ A mediator is required to be trained and neutral, and the mediator has no decision-making authority to decide the conflict between the parties. Instead, the mediator works to provide a structured process in which the parties themselves can reach an agreement.¹

¹ NE R.S. § 43-2922(14)

There are many reasons people choose not to file for custody. Some parents decide not to get a custody order because they don’t want to get the courts involved. Some parents make an informal agreement that works well for them. Parents may be concerned that going to court will provoke the other parent. They may worry that if they start a custody case, the other parent will suddenly fight for, and may get, more custody or visitation rights than they are comfortable with.

If the other parent is uninvolved with the child now, he or she may become involved just because a case was started. Also, if the other parent fights for custody, the case may drag on for a long time, which can be emotionally and financially draining. The court will look into many aspects of your personal life that you may prefer keeping private such as past mental health issues, your criminal record, substance abuse issues, and details of your personal relationships.

However, getting a custody order from a court can give you certain legal rights. Getting a custody order can give you:

• the right to make decisions about your child; and
• the right to have your child live with you.

Without a custody order, it is possible that both parents may share these legal rights, even if one parent takes care of the child every day. However, if you file for custody, the other parent may also request these rights, and it will be up to the judge to decide.

We strongly recommend talking to a lawyer who can help you think through if filing for custody would be best for you, depending on the facts of your situation. You can find legal help by clicking on the NE Finding a Lawyer page.

If the evidence leads the judge to think that any of the below acts may have happened, the judge must decide whether a parent who is entitled to custody, parenting time, or visitation under the parenting plan has:

1. abused or neglected your child;
2. abandoned your child;
3. committed domestic intimate partner abuse; or
4. consistently interfered with your access to your child, other than to protect the child.¹

If the judge finds that the abuser has committed one of those acts, the judge can add limitations to the parenting plan to protect you and your child, such as:

1. changing the custody plan, including by giving sole legal or physical custody to you;
2. supervising the abusive parent’s time with your child;
3. requiring that a third party manage the exchange of the child between you and the other parent;
4. limiting how you and the other parent can communicate;
5. requiring the other parent not to use drugs or alcohol while with your child;
6. denying the other parent overnight parenting time;
7. ordering that third parties not be present during parenting time; and
8. requiring the other parent to post a bond to ensure your child is returned to you as scheduled.²  “Posting a bond” means that the parent leaves money or the title to property with the court that can be used for the purpose of locating the child if needed.  

A judge can only give the abusive parent custody if the judge makes a special determination that you and the child can be adequately protected by these extra limitations.³

The judge also cannot give parenting time or custody to a parent who is required to register as a sex offender unless the judge states in writing that there is no significant risk to the child.⁴

¹ NE R.S. §§ 43-2932(1); 28-705
² NE R.S. § 43-2932(2)
³ NE R.S. § 43-2932(3)
⁴ NE R.S. § 43-2933

Before filing in court for custody, you may want to consider drawing up an out-of-court agreement with the other parent. Usually, parents will have to be flexible when it comes to custody and visitation for the benefit of the child. Often, parents who fight for sole custody will litigate in court for months or even years and end up with some sort of joint custody agreement after settlement or trial.

However, sometimes fighting for sole custody is necessary because you can’t agree with the other parent, the other parent is not allowing contact, or you fear for your child’s well-being. Especially with domestic violence, many abusers will try to keep power and control over the victim-survivor through the child, so joint custody isn’t recommended due to the power difference in the relationship.

If you decide to file in court for custody, the process usually looks similar to this:

1. File for custody

Generally, you will file for custody in the district court in the county where your child lives.¹ Depending on the circumstances, you may be able to request an emergency or temporary order when you file. The exact petition or complaint forms you file may depend on whether you are married or not:

• If you are a married parent who is also filing for divorce, you can usually include the custody petition within the divorce process.
• If you are a married parent who is not filing for divorce, you can file for custody on its own in the county where the child has been living for at least six months.
• If you are an unmarried parent, you can file for custody in court. However, if it is the father who is filing and paternity hasn’t been established, which means that the father hasn’t been legally recognized, then this process will likely have to happen first or as part of the custody process.

You can ask the clerk of the district court in your county about the specific steps to file for custody and they will give you the appropriate forms to file. You can also find information about how to file and links to the forms on the Nebraska Courts website.¹

We recommend that you get assistance from a Nebraska lawyer to make sure that you have all of the correct forms and that you have filled them out properly. You can use our NE Courthouse Locations, NE Download Court Forms, and NE Finding a Lawyer pages to find your court, forms, and local lawyers.

When you file your petition for custody, the clerk will tell you when to return to court for further action.

2. Prepare for the custody process

Custody cases are complicated, so you may want to consider getting a lawyer. If you can hire an attorney, you can use this list of questions as your guide when deciding who to hire. If you are representing yourself in court, you can learn about the court process and how to present evidence in our Preparing for Court – By Yourself section.

During the court process, you will try to prove why you should have your child’s custody. When preparing for court, you can gather evidence that helps make your case as to why you should have custody of the child. This process should be directed by the factors the law says a judge should look at when deciding custody. Go to What factors will a judge consider when deciding custody? for more information. It’s important to know that the judge will be focused on what is in the best interest of your child and many states consider that this is to have a relationship with both parents.

Keep in mind that custody court cases often take a long time. Going through this process can be emotionally and financially draining. Do what you can to take care of yourself. If you have experienced domestic violence, you may want to contact a local domestic violence organization. An advocate there may be able to support you through the process and help you plan for your safety.

3. Prepare for trial

There will be one or more hearings, including a trial, if you and the other parent cannot reach an agreement by yourselves or through mediation.²  During trial, you or your attorney will be able to present evidence and cross-examine the other party to help the judge make a decision.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, you may want to think about safety issues and plan for your safety while in court. Ask the judge to include protections in your custody and visitation orders. For example, you can ask for some of the following terms:

• communication between the parents must be in writing;
• communication can only be related to the child; and
• a neutral third party should be present at the exchange of the child or should be the one to drop off and pick up the child.

To avoid future conflicts, you should also try to be as specific as possible about how you and the other parent will make important decisions; who will have the child on holidays, birthdays, etc.; and when and where you and the other parent will pick up and drop off the child.

4. Options if you lose the custody case

If you are unhappy with the judge’s order, there may be a couple of options that could be filed immediately - for example:

• A motion for reconsideration asks the judge to decide differently based on the law or new evidence.
• An appeal moves the case to a higher court and asks that court to review the lower court’s decision due to a judge’s error.

There could also be an option that you may take in the future, but not immediately after the judge gives the order. A motion or petition to change (modify) the order could be filed later on if a “substantial change of circumstances” happens. A few examples of substantial changes in circumstances could be if the other parent gets sent to jail or gets charged with child abuse or neglect; if you move or the other parent moves to another state; or if your child’s needs significantly change.

To find out more about how the process works in your area, please contact a lawyer. Visit our NE Finding a Lawyer page to find legal help in your area.​ You can also watch our Custody, Visitation, and Child Support videos where we explain the process. The videos include information about the different types of custody and visitation, related legal concepts that a judge will consider, child support, and moving out of state with your child.

¹ See the Nebraska Courts website
² See NE R.S. § 43-2922(14)

After a final custody order is issued, there may come a time when you and your children move to a different state. For information about how to request to transfer the custody case to a new state, please go to the Transferring a custody case to a different state section in our general Custody page. However, it’s important to keep in mind that you may likely first need to get permission from the court or from the other parent to move your children out of state. Please talk to a lawyer to make sure your plans to move don’t violate your custody order or your state’s parental kidnapping laws.