As long as the judge believes that it is in the child’s best interest, a custody order can include the following “rights” that a parent must have when the child is spending time with the other parent. The custody order can include that you, and the other parent, have the right to:

1. not have the other parent make insulting or offensive remarks about you or your family to the child or in front of the child;
2. uninterrupted telephone or video conference conversations, if available, with your child:
   • at least twice a week;
   • at reasonable times; and
   • for a reasonable length of time;
3. have the telephone number or video conference information, if it is available, where your child can be reached;
4. send mail to your child without the other parent destroying it, opening it, or censoring it, and the other parent must give the child all of your letters, packages, etc., as soon as they are received;
5. receive notice and relevant information within twenty-four hours or sooner, if possible, of any hospitalization, major illness or injury, or death of your child;
6. receive directly from your child’s school any educational records that are usually made available to parents, including report cards, attendance records, names of teachers, class schedules, and standardized test scores. Also, the parent who enrolls the child in school must provide the name, address, telephone number, and other contact information for the school to the other parent if s/he requests it;
7. be given at least forty-eight hours’ notice, whenever possible, of all extracurricular school, athletic, and religious activities where parental participation or observation would be appropriate. Each parent should have the opportunity to participate in the activities or observe them. Also, the parent who enrolled the child in each activity must advise the other parent of the activity and provide contact information for the person responsible for its scheduling so that the other parent can make arrangements to participate or observe unless this would be prohibited by a court order, such as a protection order;
8. receive copies of your child’s medical, health, or other treatment records directly from the treating physician or healthcare provider. Also, the parent who arranges for medical treatment or health care must provide the name, address, telephone number, and other contact information for the physician or healthcare provider to the other parent if s/he requests it;
9. reasonable access and participation in the child’s education on the same basis that are provided to all parents, such as the right to see the child during lunch and other school activities, as long as it does not interfere with the school’s day-to-day operations or with the child’s educational schedule; and
10. receive from the other parent information about trips where the child is leaving the state for more than forty-eight hours, including the planned dates of departure and return, the places the child will be going, the form of travel, and a contact telephone number.¹

¹ TN ST § 36-6-101(a)(3)(A), (a)(3)(B)

Custody can be awarded to:

• either parent alone;
• both parents; or
• a “suitable person” if the judge believes that this is required to serve the welfare and interest of the child.¹

^​1 TN ST § 36-6-101(a)(1)

Once the visitation petition is filed, the judge would hold a hearing. In order to be granted visitation, two things must happen at the hearing:

1. the grandparent must prove that there would be a danger of “substantial harm” to the child if visitation were not granted; and
2. the judge must find that visitation would be in the best interests of the child after considering the factors explained in How will a judge make a decision about custody?¹

“Substantial harm” can come from the parent or custodian not allowing or severely limiting the grandparent-child relationship when any of the following are true:

• the child had such a “significant existing relationship” with the grandparent that the loss or severe reduction of the relationship is likely to cause severe emotional harm to the child;
• the child had a “significant existing relationship” with the grandparent and the loss or severe reduction of the relationship presents the danger of other direct and substantial harm to the child;
• the grandparent was a primary caregiver to the child and therefore, the loss or severe reduction of the relationship could interrupt being able to provide for the daily needs of the child, causing physical or emotional harm; or
• the child’s mother or father died and the grandparent seeking visitation is the parent of that deceased parent.²

A “significant existing relationship” is when:

• the child lived with the grandparent for at least six months in a row;
• the grandparent was a full-time caretaker of the child for at least six months in a row; or
• the grandparent had frequent visitation with the child for at least one year.³

^​1 TN ST § 36-6-306(b)(1), (c)
² TN ST § 36-6-306(b)(1), (b)(4)
³ TN ST § 36-6-306(b)(2)

Custody
The judge is supposed to take into account a parent’s history of physical or emotional abuse towards you, the child, or anyone else, including the child’s siblings, when making a custody decision. However, the best interests of the child and other factors will also be considered, and the abusive parent may still receive custody rights.¹ If a parent has been convicted of any criminal sexual offense listed here against a minor, the judge will assume that the parent should not get custody.² Also, if a parent is under indictment for aggravated child abuse, child sexual abuse, or severe child sexual abuse, s/he cannot get any sort of custody while the criminal case is pending unless s/he can prove to the judge that s/he does not present a substantial risk of harm to the child.³

Visitation
Visitation may be awarded to a parent who has committed violence unless, after a hearing, the judge determines that visitation is likely to endanger the child’s physical or emotional health. If the judge determines that the non-custodial parent has physically or emotionally abused the child, the judge can require that visitation be supervised or that visitation is not allowed until such abuse has stopped or until there is no reasonable likelihood that such abuse will happen again.⁴ If the judge determines that the parent has committed child abuse or child sexual abuse, the judge can only award visitation under circumstances that guarantee the safety of the child. For example, the judge can order:

• all visits must be supervised by a responsible adult or agency;
• the abusive parent must go to counseling;
• there can be no overnight visits;
• the child’s address be kept confidential; and
• anything else to keep the child safe.⁵

If a parent has been convicted of any criminal sexual offense listed here against a minor, the parent can only get supervised visitation if s/he is granted visitation at all.⁶

If a parent has willfully abandoned the child for 18 months or more, the parent’s residential time should be limited and s/he will likely be granted only limited visitation with the child. The term “willful abandonment” includes a situation where the parent substantially refuses to perform parenting responsibilities.⁷

¹ TN ST § 36-6-106(a)(11)
² TN ST § 36-6-101(a)(2)(A)(ii)
³ TN ST §§ 36-6-101(a)(2)(A)(v); 36-6-112(c)(2)
⁴ TN ST § 36-6-301
⁵ TN ST § 36-6-107(b)
⁶ TN ST § 36-6-101(a)(2)(A)(ii), (a)(2)(A)(iii)
⁷ TN ST §§ 36-6-406(a)(1); 36-6-101(a)(2)(A)(iv)

You can file a petition to terminate the parental rights of the other parent if the parent has been convicted of:

• one of the following crimes against you that led to the conception of your child:
  • aggravated rape;
  • rape;
  • rape of a child;¹ or
• one of the following crimes against any child, including a crime in another state that is substantially similar to any crime on this list:
  • aggravated child abuse and aggravated child neglect or endangerment;
  • aggravated rape of a child;
  • aggravated rape against a child;
  • aggravated sexual battery against a child;
  • aggravated sexual exploitation of a minor;
  • especially aggravated sexual exploitation of a minor;
  • incest against a child;
  • promoting prostitution of a child;
  • rape against a child;
  • rape of a child;
  • sexual battery by an authority figure towards a child;
  • statutory rape by an authority figure; or
  • trafficking for a commercial sex act towards a child;² or
• ^​one of the following crimes against you:
  • attempted first degree murder; or
  • attempted second degree murder.³

¹ TN ST § 36-1-113(b)(2)(A)
² TN ST § 36-1-113(b)(2)(B), (g)(11)(A)(ii)
³ TN ST § 36-1-113(b)(2)(C)

You have a right to file for custody and to access the court system without a lawyer. However, child custody cases are often very complicated. It may be difficult for you to file a proper petition and go through court hearings without the help of a lawyer. Also, if the other parent has a lawyer, it may be harder for you to represent yourself.

To find a lawyer or legal aid program in your area, please visit our Tennessee Finding a Lawyer page. If you are a victim of domestic violence, it’s important to have a lawyer who is knowledgeable about domestic violence and custody matters. For a list of questions to ask before you hire a lawyer, you can read How do I pick the right attorney? What questions do I ask? in our Choosing and Working with a Lawyer section.

If you are going to be in court without a lawyer, our Preparing for Court – By Yourself section may help you.

Before you file for custody, you may consider making an out-of-court agreement with the other parent. Parents often have to be flexible about custody and visitation for the child’s benefit. Parents who fight for sole custody may be in court for months or even years. And they may still end up with some sort of joint custody order after a settlement or trial.

However, sometimes, parents need to file for custody because they can’t agree with the other parent. You may also need to file for custody if the other parent is keeping the child from you or if you fear for the child’s well-being. If the other parent has committed domestic violence against you, s/he may try to keep power and control over you through the child. When there has been domestic violence, joint custody usually isn’t a good option due to the power difference in the relationship between the parents.

Keep in mind that custody court cases can take a long time. Going through this process can be emotionally and financially draining, so please do what you can to take care of yourself. If you have experienced domestic violence, you may want to contact a local domestic violence organization. An advocate there may be able to support you and help you plan for your safety while in court.

You can watch our Custody, Visitation, and Child Support videos, where we explain legal concepts and the court process, to learn more about this topic. You can also read more about safety issues on the Safety Issues section of our Court System Basics page. 

In the following sections, we will discuss the steps that generally take place during the custody process. For precise information on how this process works in your county and state, you may want to contact a local lawyer.

The legal paperwork that starts a custody case is called a petition. You may file your custody petition in the family court or a court of a different name that hears custody cases. Generally, you will file in the county where the child lives.

The exact petition you file may depend on whether or not you are married to the child’s other parent, as you can see in the chart below.

Sometimes, non-parents can also file for custody or visitation rights. To find out about filing for visitation as a grandparent, go to When can a grandparent file a petition for visitation rights? or talk to a lawyer.

The custody petition forms you need will be available at your local courthouse. Many forms are also available online. Some courts may have a court assistance officer or other staff who can help you complete the forms you need to file. However, court staff cannot advise or represent you. It’s best to get help from a lawyer to make sure that you have all of the forms and fill them out correctly. You can use our Tennessee Courthouse Locations, Download Court Forms, and Finding a Lawyer pages to find your county’s court, the forms, and local lawyers.

Depending on what’s going on with the child and the other parent, you may be able to ask for an emergency or temporary custody order when you file your petition. That may require appearing in front of the judge. However, in most cases, you will just file the petition, and then the clerk will tell you a date to return to court a few weeks or months later. If your child’s well-being is in danger, make sure to mention this on the petition and notify local authorities as needed. It may also be possible to file for a protection order and get temporary custody as part of the restraining order.

After you file, the papers will need to be given to the other parent. This is called “service of process,” and there are specific rules on how to do it. You may want to ask the clerk for the instructions on how the other party must be served in your state.

There are two different ways that you might be able to get a final custody order – by coming to an agreement, or by going to trial.

Reach an agreement: In some situations, you and the other parent might be able to reach an agreement (settlement) about your child’s living arrangements. If the judge approves, your agreement could become the final custody order. This could allow you to keep some level of control over the outcome and help you avoid the stress and uncertainty of a trial. You and the other parent could negotiate an agreement by yourselves, with the help of your attorneys, or through mediation.

Go to trial: If you can’t agree or if it’s unsafe for you to deal with the other parent directly, the next step will be a trial. At that point, the judge will make all the decisions about custody based on what s/he believes is in your child’s best interests. During a trial, you or your attorney can present evidence and cross-examine the other parent. The other parent can do the same. If you are representing yourself, you can learn more about how to do this in our At the Hearing section.

When a parent is deployed, s/he can give his/her custodial responsibility to another person, such as a grandparent, for example. In order for this to happen, there are two options.

1) The parents can enter into a temporary custody agreement that gives the parent’s custodial responsibility to another person. The agreement must be in writing and signed by both parents and by any non-parent who is getting custodial responsibility.¹ The agreement should:

• include the length and location of the deployment;
• explain how the caretaking authority will be divided among the deploying parent, the other parent, and any non-parent with caretaking responsibility;
• specify what decision-making authority, if any, will be given to each parent and non-parent;
• provide a process for final decision-making when there is a disagreement regarding caretaking responsibilities between the non-deployed parent and a non-parent;
• specify the type of communication that will take place between the deployed parent and the child, including the length of time, how often it will take place, any role to be played by the other parent in helping to carry out the contact, and who will pay for any costs of contact;
• identify what contact is to occur between the deploying parent and child during the time the deploying parent is on leave or is otherwise available;
• acknowledge that any change in either parent’s child support obligation cannot be changed by this agreement and that it must be handled in the appropriate court; and
• provide that the agreement will terminate and go back to the terms of the original custody order once the deployed parent returns.²

2) If parents are unable to come to a temporary custody agreement, either parent can file a request with the court to issue a temporary order giving (“assigning”) another person the deployed parent’s custodial rights and responsibilities. If a custody case is already started, either parent can file a motion in that case. If a custody case is not already started, either parent can file an initial custody complaint to request that the court issue a custody order to address custody during the parent’s deployment.³

¹ TN ST § 36-7-201(a), (b)
² TN ST § 36-7-201(c)
³ TN ST § 36-7-302

When making a decision about which parent gets custodial responsibility, the judge is allowed to consider any significant impact of a parent’s past or possible future deployments on the best interests of the child. However, the judge cannot consider past or future deployment as the sole factor for determining custodial responsibility.¹

¹ TN ST § 36-7-107

If you are trying to change (modify) the part of the court’s order that deals with custody, you have to prove that there has been a substantial (material) change in circumstances since the order was issued. The law lays out the following examples as material changes of circumstances but there can be others as well:

• the failure to follow the parenting plan or the custody order;
• the parenting plan is no longer in the best interests of the child;¹ or
• the other parent is criminally indicted for aggravated child abuse, child sexual abuse, or severe child sexual abuse.²

If you are trying to change (modify) the part of the court’s order that deals with residential parenting schedule, you have to prove that there has been a substantial (material) change in circumstances that affects the child’s best interests since the order was issued. The law lays out the following examples as material changes of circumstances but there can be others as well:

• significant changes in the needs of the child over time, which may include changes relating to age;
• significant changes in the parent’s living or working condition that significantly affect parenting;
• failure to follow the parenting plan; or
• other circumstances that would make a change in the residential parenting time be in the best interest of the child.³

Note: To change the custody order or residential parenting schedule, you do not have to prove that there is substantial risk of harm to the child. However, if there is such a risk, this could be a reason to ask for the order to be changed.⁴

¹ TN ST § 36-6-101(a)(2)(B)(i)
² TN ST § 36-6-101(a)(2)(A)(v)
³ TN ST § 36-6-101(a)(2)(C)
⁴ TN ST § 36-6-101(a)(2)(B)(i), (a)(2)(C)

After custody or co-parenting has been established in a permanent parenting plan or a final custody order, there are some steps that you need to take if you want to relocate. A relocation for these purposes means either moving out of the state or staying within the state but moving more than 50 miles from the other parent. The steps you must take are as follows:

1. At least 60 days before the planned move, you need to send a notice to the other parent at his/her last known address by registered or certified mail. The judge can waive this requirement, however, if there are emergency circumstances. The notice must contain the following:
   • a statement that you plan to move;
   • the location of your new home;
   • the reasons for your proposed relocation; and
   • a statement that explains that if the other parent doesn’t object within 30 days of the date notice is mailed, or if the parents don’t come to an agreement, the law will allow the relocation.¹
2. It’s possible that once the other parent receives the notice, the two of you may agree upon a new visitation schedule or the other parent may file an objection. If neither happens within 30 days after you send the notice, you need to file a petition asking the court to approve the relocation. Then, the non-relocating parent has 30 days to file a response in opposition to the petition.
3. If the non-relocating parent doesn’t file a response in opposition to your petition within 30 days of when you file the petition, then you and your child will be allowed to relocate.

¹ TN ST § 36-6-108(a)
² TN ST § 36-6-108(b)

After a final custody order is issued, there may come a time when you and your children move to a different state. For information about how to request to transfer the custody case to a new state, please go to the Transferring a custody case to a different state section in our general Custody page. However, it’s important to keep in mind that you may likely first need to get permission from the court or from the other parent to move your children out of state. Please talk to a lawyer to make sure your plans to move don’t violate your custody order or your state’s parental kidnapping laws.