What is mediation?
Mediation is a process by which parents attempt to reach an agreement relating to custody and visitation of their child. Mediation involves the help of a trained professional (a “mediator”) who guides the discussion process between the parents and tries to come to a compromise that both parents are happy with. The mediator cannot force you to agree to something that you don’t want.
Cases involving custody or parenting time will be referred to mediation. The case will not be referred to mediation if you have a temporary or final restraining order. However, in cases where there is domestic violence but there is no restraining order, you may still be referred to mediation but the issues of domestic violence will not be resolved in the mediation.1 Therefore, if you are the victim of domestic violence, make sure the judge knows this. It may affect his/her decision on whether to send you to mediation.
Mediation in domestic violence situations often does not work since one parent is usually afraid of the other and may not feel comfortable or safe disagreeing with the abusive parent. If you are referred to mediation, you can ask the court to remove your case from mediation – the judge will do so if there is “good cause” to remove it.1
There is a also a program involving mediation for issues of marital property and support in divorce cases. The court may refer you to mediation if you and the other parent have trouble agreeing on these issues, or you may ask the judge to refer you to mediation at any time. However, the case will not be referred to mediation if you have a temporary or final restraining order. 2
1 N.J. Court Rules, R. 1:40-5(a)(1)
2 N.J. Court Rules, R. 1:40-5(b); see also www.judiciary.state.nj.us/family/rosters/index.htm