What is financial abuse? What are the signs to look out for?
Financial abuse is one form of domestic abuse. Withholding money, stealing money, and restricting the use of finances are some examples of financial abuse. To figure out if your partner is financially abusing you, think about how you are being treated by answering the following questions.
Does your partner:
- Steal money from you or your family?
- Force you to give him/her access to your bank accounts to make transactions without your input?
- Make you feel as though you don’t have a right to know any details about money or household resources?
- Put you on an “allowance” even if you object to this?
- Force to you to account for all money you spend by, for example, asking for receipts?
- Overuse your credit cards or refuse to pay the bills (thus ruining your credit)?
- Prevent you from working or attending school or skill-training sessions?
- Withhold physical resources from you including food, clothes, necessary medications, or shelter?
- Force you to turn over your paychecks or public benefit payments?
- Force you to cash in, sell or sign over any financial assets you own (e.g., bonds, stock or property)?
- Force you to agree to power-of-attorney so s/he can sign legal documents?
- Force you to work in a family business for little or no pay?
- Prevent you from obtaining or using credit cards or bankcards?
- Refuse to work to help support the family?
- Interfere with your performance at work, by calling you non-stop, visiting your workplace unannounced, etc.?
- Threaten to falsely report you for “cheating” on your public benefits so they will be cut off?
- Force you to cash in, sell or sign over any financial assets or inheritance you own?
- Force you to agree to a power of attorney that would enable your partner to legally sign documents without your knowledge or consent?1
If you have answered “yes” to more than one of these questions, your partner may be financially abusing you. Where there is financial abuse, there may also likely be other forms of abuse in your relationship. To see if you are being emotionally, physically, or sexually abused, you can go to the following pages on our website: Signs of Abuse and Forms of Abuse.
1 Information adapted from The Allstate Foundation’s & NNEDV’s “Moving Ahead Through Financial Empowerment Curriculum”
The abuser has access to all my financial and identity information. What can I do?
If the abuser has access to your credit card statements, Social Security number, or other identifying information, this can make it easier for him/her to open up accounts in your name or access current accounts. If s/he has your children’s Social Security numbers, s/he can even try to open accounts in your children’s names. You might want to consider taking proactive measures to keep your personal information safe. Some actions you can take are to call your bank and credit card companies and ask that they change your account numbers, PIN numbers, passwords, and other access codes. Try to create passwords that would be hard for someone to guess. If you access your bank account through your personal computer or if you store your financial information on your personal computer, make sure you are using a safe computer that the abuser cannot access and has not installed spyware on. To read more about keeping your computer safe, go to our Safety While Using the Internet page. If appropriate and possible, you may want to consider enrolling in a reputable credit protection program through your current credit card company or bank although that may cost money.
The abuser has asked me to co-sign on a loan or credit card. Is that a good idea?
Generally, it is not a good idea to co-sign any financial contracts, including credit cards or a car loan, with someone you do not trust completely to be honest and responsible about paying it off. If something happens, such as the other person disappears or refuses to make payments, you can be held responsible for paying off the entire debt and your credit can be ruined if you don’t make timely payments. If you have already co-signed on a loan or credit card and the other person has failed to make payments, go to After the abuser has taken your money and/or run up debt in your name for more information.
How can I get my credit report?
There are various companies that allow you to request a free credit report. At www.AnnualCreditReport.com, for example, you can request a free credit report every 12 months by going to their website or by calling toll free at 1-877-322-8228.1 Don’t be fooled by websites or companies using similar names since many of them are not reputable. Note: WomensLaw.org does not endorse this website and cannot vouch for their services; we provide this for your information only.
Your credit report can show what accounts you have open and what the balances are on each. Check to make sure your credit report accurately reflects your financial history. If there is incorrect information or accounts that you don’t recognize, please read What can I do if someone opened up accounts in my name without my permission?
How do I dispute inaccurate information on my credit report?
To dispute inaccurate information, such as a loan or a credit card that you did not open or one that you closed but that still shows up as being open, you can report it to one of the credit bureaus that shows the error. They should contact the company who initiated the account. For example, if your account reflects an open Best Buy credit card that you don’t think you are responsible for opening or that you closed, then the credit bureau should reach out to Best Buy to ask for proof that you opened the account. This process can take 30-90 days, so it’s a good idea to “clean up” your credit report several months prior to a major purchase to ensure you will be given the best interest rates and terms available.
Below are links for the investigation departments of each credit bureau:
How do I dispute charges to my credit card that I did not authorize?
You can contact your credit card company directly and let them know about specific charges that you did not authorize. Some credit card agreements state that you are not responsible for any charges that you did not authorize and they will remove those charges from your account. Generally, however, before they will do this, you will need to speak to someone in their security department who looks into cases of fraud. You may also need to file a police report first about the charges – ask the credit card company.
Be cautious of companies or other offers that claim to “clean up” or improve credit reports, particularly if they charge a fee for their services. Consider contacting a local, not-for-profit consumer credit organization if you want help through this process. For a listing of organizations in your area, you can contact the National Foundation for Credit Counseling. Note: WomensLaw.org does not endorse this website and cannot vouch for their services; we provide this for your information only.
What is a fraud alert and should I get one?
A fraud alert lets the credit card bureaus (Equifax, Experian and TransUnion) know that you may be a victim of identity theft. A fraud alert can make it very hard for anyone to open new accounts in your name, and it can be a good idea if you are fearful of someone using your information without your knowledge. A fraud alert will remove your name from all pre-approved credit cards and it will require the credit card bureaus to call you by phone before any new account can be opened. Once you have successfully placed a fraud alert through one of the credit bureaus, they should let the other two credit bureaus know but you may want to confirm this with the credit union that you contact. Below is the website information for the three bureaus:
After the abuser has taken your money and/or run up debt in your name
If someone opened up accounts in my name without my permission, is this identity theft?
If anyone, including a spouse, family member, or intimate partner, uses your personal information to open up an account in your name without your permission, this could be considered identify theft. Some examples of personal information that someone might use are your Social Security number, credit card and banking account numbers, usernames, passwords, and patient records. Fraudulent uses of this information may include opening new credit accounts, taking out loans, stealing money from financial accounts or using available credit.1
Each state law defines identity theft differently. The National Conference of State Legislatures lists the statutory citation for identity theft laws in each state. However, to read the actual language of the law, you’d have to Google the statutory citation for your state. If you have been a victim of identity theft, the Identity Theft Resource Center may have helpful information. Note: WomensLaw.org is not affiliated with either website and cannot vouch for their services; we provide this for your information only.
You can also report identity theft to the police or through the Federal Trade Commission website on identity theft or by calling 1-877-ID-THEFT (438-4338). To read more about steps you can take if you think you have been the victim of identity theft, visit the federal government’s websit.e
1New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence
The abuser ruined my credit score. Is there anything I can do?
If the abuser has accumulated debt in your name that has not been paid on a timely basis, this will likely affect your credit negatively. However, depending on the factors in your specific situation, it may be possible to challenge some of the debt or to take steps to improve your credit score to try to undo some of the damage. You may want to reach out to the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, a nonprofit organization for more information and other ideas, tips, and strategies. Be wary of ever paying for credit counseling or repair since those can often be fraudulent. Going with a non-profit credit counseling organization is generally recommended by advocates in the field. Note: WomensLaw is not affiliated with this organization and cannot vouch for their services.
Keep in mind that you will most likely be held responsible for the debt on any accounts that you co-signed. If this describes your situation, please read more under the Getting your money back and other help section.
If the abuser has used your identity to commit fraud, the abuser may have committed identity theft. Please read If someone opened up accounts in my name without my permission, is this identity theft?
Financial matters when leaving an abusive relationship
What are some financial protections I can take if I am getting to ready to leave an abusive relationship?
If you are trying to leave an abusive relationship, it can be important to take your personal and financial records with you, either copies or the originals if it’s safe to take those. Some things you may want to keep a copy of include:
- birth certificates and Social Security cards for your whole family;
- insurance cards for your whole family;
- copies of your checking account, savings account, and credit card numbers;
- copies of any stock or mutual fund records;
- loan/mortgage information;
- your most recent credit report;
- tax returns for the past two years;
- car title;
- deed to your house or your rental lease;
- retirement plan statements; and
- photos of your family’s most valuable assets (e.g., nice cars, expensive jewelry, anything you think is worth a fair amount of money).
If you may be going through a divorce or child support case, you may also want to try to take copies of the following:
- how much the abuser earns, including salary, bonuses, money s/he gets from any rental properties, which may be in the prior year’s tax return;
- how much money is in all accounts: savings, checking, investments, retirement accounts; and
- how much money is owed on credit cards, the mortgage, car, etc.
Who is responsible for the debt after we get divorced?
As a part of a divorce, debt that was built up during a marriage is usually split between the spouses, though not necessarily equally. What usually happens is that the spouses will decide on a division of debt that they can both agree to or a judge will divide the debt looking at a number of different factors. Depending on your state’s law, it could be possible that if you can prove that your spouse racked up debt for things that only benefited him/her and had no benefit whatsoever on the household, the judge might agree that s/he is the only person responsible for those debts. To figure out what your state’s laws say about the division of debt, and to find out about how the debt in your marriage might be divided in a divorce, we suggest that you talk to a lawyer. Go to our Finding a Lawyer page to try to locate a divorce lawyer in your state.
For general info on divorce in your state, but not specifically about marital debt, read about Divorce on WomensLaw.org.
Getting your money back and other help
Can I sue the abuser for money I think s/he owes me?
If an abusive partner (to whom you are not married) failed to re-pay money that you lent to him/her or failed to make credit card or loan payments that s/he agreed to, you may be able to take the abuser to small claims court to sue for that money. You do not need a lawyer to go to small claims court, however, you can only ask for up to a certain amount of money. Each state sets a different limit for the amount for which you can ask. For information about going to small claims court, visit the Suing an Abuser for Money section of WomensLaw.org and choose your state from the drop-down menu.
If you are married to someone who you believe owes you money, this can be a more complex issue to handle. Generally, money earned during a marriage by either spouse is considered joint, marital property and so in the majority of circumstances, one spouse can’t really “owe” the other spouse money that s/he took or used during the marriage. There could be an exception, however, for private, separate property obtained prior to the marriage that is “loaned” to a spouse during a marriage or for an inheritance that was left to one spouse during the marriage and wrongfully taken by the other spouse. Even in either of these circumstances, you may want to talk with a lawyer about your state’s marital property laws to make sure that the money/property that was used by your spouse can be traced to an individual source (like money lent to your spouse before marriage or money borrowed from a family member that was then lent to the other spouse).
For debts that one spouse accrued during the marriage, either in his/her own name or in the other spouse’s name, generally these matters are handled as part of the divorce. In a divorce, the parties will need to list any and all marital debt and the parties or the judge will decide how to divide this debt as part of the divorce. Generally, if debt is not declared/dealt with in the divorce, both sides may be prohibited from later suing for that money unless the divorce decree specifically allows for this to be done in a separate proceeding.
Before suing the abuser, please consider your safety. It might help to talk to a domestic violence advocate or organization near you for this reason. You can find on the Advocates and Shelters page.
Can I get reimbursed for the medical bills, property damage, or attorney's fees that the abuser has caused me?
If you are not married to the abuser, you may be able to sue the abuser in small claims court if you can prove a direct link between the expenses and the abuser’s actions.
If you have been the victim of a crime, including domestic violence, it may be possible to seek reimbursement from the Crime Victim Compensation Board in your state, which may help pay for certain expenses of crime victims. Each state has different rules for who is eligible to receive this money and how much money one can receive. Go the National Association of Crime Victim Compensation Boards for more information and to read about the program in your state or you can go to the WomensLaw.org Crimes page for your state.
If you are getting a protection order based on the violent incident that caused you these expenses, you might be able to ask the judge to order that the abuser reimburse you for your medical bills, property damage, and/or attorney’s fees as part of a civil order. Go to the Restraining Orders page in your state to see if this is an option.
Lastly, if the abuser was arrested and is being prosecuted for the criminal act, you can talk to the district attorney about getting restitution ordered as part of the abuser’s criminal sentence.
Additional resources and where else to turn
Below are some additional resources that you may find useful.
- Moving Ahead Through Financial Management Curriculum - This curriculum was created by the National Network to End Domestic Violence and the Allstate Foundation.
- New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence
- Allstate’s Click to Empower Campaign: Information on financial literacy and tools for helping women leave abusive relationships and build financially stable futures.
- The Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE): Providing financial information to women in their quest for financial independence.