Spiritual Abuse

Spiritual abuse can happen in a community, like when a faith leader uses his/her position to exploit followers. For example, you may hear of scandals involving religious leaders who:

• commit sexual abuse;
• steal money from donations; and
• punish or push out community members who question their authority.¹

It can also happen in close relationships, like with a partner, family member, ex, or caretaker. S/he might:

• force you to take part in religious rituals or worship;
• tell you how to dress or act based on religion, without giving you a choice;
• threaten to kick you out of your community if you don’t follow his/her beliefs or do what s/he says.¹

In relationships where there is domestic violence, spiritual abuse might look like:

• making fun of your faith or making you feel guilty about it;
• stopping you from practicing your religion or from going to religious services or events;
• using your beliefs to control your actions, saying things like “God will punish you if…”;
• forcing you to raise your children in a religion you don’t agree with;
• quoting religious texts to excuse his/her abuse, saying things like “My faith says I can do this”; or  
• saying you will lose your community if you leave the relationship.²

Safe Havens Interfaith Partnership Against Domestic Violence and Elder Abuse created a tool called the Spiritual and Religious Abuse Power and Control Wheel, which shows how people can misuse scripture, traditions, and cultural norms to control others.

¹ This information was adapted from the 1800RESPECT, Spiritual Abuse page
² See the National Domestic Violence Hotline, What is Spiritual Abuse page