Elder Abuse

The National Center on Elder Abuse may be a good place to start gathering information. They have information on what elder abuse is, ways to deal with it, and what will happen if you decide to report the abuse to the authorities. The Administration for Community Living (ACL), part of the US Dept. of Health and Human Services (HHS), a federal agency, also has information about elder abuse.

In each state there is also state agency called Adult Protective Services (APS), or something similarly named, where a person can report elder abuse, and the agency is obligated to investigate. [SEARCH FOR APS IN THE EMAILER’S STATE]

It might also help your mother to speak with an advocate at a local domestic violence organization. They can talk to her about what’s going on and help her think through it and develop a plan to keep as safe as possible. They should be able to help her, whether the abuse is emotional, mental, economic, or physical. On our website you can find our list of local domestic violence organizations in your state. [HYPERLINK]

Depending on the level of abuse, your mother may qualify for a restraining order, which can order an abuser to stop the abuse; to stay away from and not contact the victim; and/or other things to protect a victim of domestic violence. Your mother may also be able to ask the judge to have your father attend counseling as a part of a restraining order. We have information on restraining orders and how to get one on our website. [INSERT LINK TO RO PAGES]

There are also hotline numbers for elder abuse in each state as well. There are a lot of pros and cons to reporting the abuse, and whether or not to report it is a decision that only you and your mother can make. If you report the abuse, the authorities may be able to get your father into counseling or treatment. Depending on the extent of the abuse, he could possibly face criminal charges. You may want to talk with your mother before reporting the abuse; alternatively, you can call and ask what sort of services might be available to a victim of elder abuse if the abuse were reported, without disclosing any information on your mother’s case. The elder abuse hotline accepts text messages and calls, but is only open 9am - 8pm, Monday through Friday. You can call 1-800-677-1116 to inquire.