English
EspañolV wants to move with kids – MARRIED/UNMARRIED, NOT SURE IF WITHIN OR OUT OF STATE
I couldn’t tell from your email whether or not you were planning to move to somewhere local, or whether you were thinking of fleeing to another state. I will try to address both situations just in case.
In general, if people are legally married or if the father’s paternity has been established some other way, most states consider the parents to have equal rights to the child. This may mean that either parent may be able to have the child in his/her possession. However, many states also have parental kidnapping/custodial interference laws. These laws may prohibit certain behaviors such as concealing the whereabouts of the child, or leaving the state for an extended period of time, for example. There may be a big difference under the law if a parent is thinking of staying nearby (within the state) with the child(ren) or if the parent is thinking of moving far away.
You can read your state’s parental kidnapping law on our website. (HYPERLINK TO PK LAW) However, these types of laws are often hard to interpret and easy to misinterpret. Since I cannot provide legal advice, I cannot tell you how it may or may not apply to your situation. You would have to ask a lawyer about this. You may want to ask an attorney how your plan to leave with your child may be considered under your state’s parental kidnapping laws and again, this may depend on whether or not your plan is to move out of state or to stay local. You can find free and paid lawyers on our website. (HYPERLINK) [NOTE: INCLUDE THIS IF THE WOMAN INDICATES DV: Another option may be to call the Legal Resource Center for Violence Against Women, which specializes in interstate custody matters for abused women. They may be able to connect you with an attorney in your current state who can advise you about the state’s laws on parental kidnapping. Their number is 301-270-1550.]
If you are planning to leave the state, an attorney may also be able to tell you whether or not you should:
- try to first file for custody and ask the judge for permission to leave the state;
- try to file for emergency custody in the new state if you or your child are in danger of maltreatment or abuse; or
- whether none of those things may be necessary.
If you file for custody, an attorney may tell you that you need to get permission from the judge to move. If so, you may want to ask an attorney how to prove to the judge that moving is in the child’s best interest. Some possible things parents may generally show as reasons for a move are:
- the child would be attending a better school (e.g., if the school is ranked higher than a child’s current school, is safer, etc.);
- the parent and child would be in a better economic or professional situation;
- there is extended family support there;
- the neighborhood is safer, etc.
If you are planning to stay local, you may also want to ask an attorney if you should file for custody either right before or right after you leave the home with your child. The reason that some people file for custody after separating is so that the other parent doesn’t try to take the children and refuse to return them, for example. If there is abuse in the relationship, the victim of abuse may be able to file for a restraining order and ask for temporary custody. You can read more about restraining orders and how to get one in your state on our website. (HYPERLINK)
Without a custody order or a restraining order that keeps one parent away from the children, there may be nothing to prevent either parent from being with the children. However, if the parents cannot agree on how to divide time with the children, then either parent may be able to take the child when they want, which can happen repeatedly. This is a complicated legal question. It depends on a lot of different factors and we strongly recommend that you talk to a lawyer in your state who specializes in custody before making any decisions. You can also see custody information for STATE on our website. (HYPERLINK)
