Custody & Kidnapping

Some parents are able to reach an agreement about custody – where the child will live, when s/he will get to see the other parent, etc. – outside of court and then have a judge turn it into an order after filing a custody petition in court. Many people choose not to go to court at all and rather just have an informal agreement out of court. However, this type of agreement may not be enforceable by police or courts if one parent “violates” it since it is not a court order.

If the parents don’t agree after one parent files for custody, a judge will sometimes refer parents to mediation. Mediation uses a third party, called a mediator, to help the parents agree on matters relating to custody and visitation. A judge may refer a party to mediation if s/he thinks it may be helpful. Either party may be able to ask for anything s/he wants and may not have to agree to something that s/he doesn’t want. If you are a victim of domestic violence,however, mediation may not be appropriate in domestic violence cases since there needs to be equal power between the parties – if one is afraid or intimidated by the other, there likely cannot be a fair mediation. If you’re considering mediation and are a victim of domestic violence, you may want to consult with a domestic violence organization in your area first. For a list of domestic violence organizations in [STATE], see: [LINK STATE AND LOCAL PROGRAMS]. If the judge orders a victim of domestic violence and the other parent into mediation, the victim may be able to tell the judge about the violence and ask to opt out of mediation. Depending on your state’s laws on this, a judge may not be permitted by law to order mediation for victims of violence - I don’t know how this is handled in your state.

If a judge is deciding a custody case at a trial/hearing, both parents may have the right to ask for the custody arrangement each wants and be able to present evidence, testimony and witnesses with or without a lawyer to prove his/her case. A judge will look at the whole case and make a decision about what s/he believes is in the best interest of the child. Sometimes, that may wind up being what one parent asked for. Sometimes, that may wind up being what the other asked for. Other times, it may be something that neither parent asked for. Because a judge may be making a decision based on the best interest of the child, parties may want to think of ways to show the judge why the custody arrangement each wants is in the child’s best interest. Here is a link to information on factors considered by a judge when making a custody determination in your state: [LINK TO FACTORS CONSIDERED]

You may also want to try contacting a lawyer, if you haven’t already. If you can afford a lawyer, a lawyer referral service may be able to help you find a lawyer who has experience in this area of law. If you can’t afford one, you may be able to get help from Legal Aid, which provides free or low-cost legal help in some cases. If they can’t help you, they might be able to refer you to someone who can take your case on a sliding scale fee or for free. Some legal aid organizations that can give referrals don’t advertise that they do - you may want to specifically ask for a referral if you need one. [FINDING A LAWYER]

Shelters and other domestic violence organizations may also be able to provide you with a referral if you are a victim of domestic violence. LINK