Custody & Kidnapping

You may want to get legal advice before applying for custody to see if it is in your best interest to apply. After talking to a lawyer, you might decide that you want to wait to see if he files for visitation and then deal with that petition – or if he files for custody, perhaps you may want to consider cross-filing for custody yourself at that point. A lawyer can help you think through this to decide what may be best.

Generally, a mother’s custody rights are automatically established when she gives birth so mothers do not necessarily need a custody order to prove they have custody. The reason why many mothers get a custody order is when the father is trying to visit with the children or keep them with him more than the mother wants. Are you worried that he may take her on a visit and not return her or try to pick her up from school and not give her back? If the father also has custody rights to the child (assuming his paternity was legally established – see below), then a custody order may be useful to specify who has the right to the child at what times. However, there is no guarantee that a custody case will turn out as the petitioner hopes when she files.

One possible outcome that may come up for some mothers who file for custody against a father who has not been very involved with the child is that one the father thinks that the mother is trying to take away his rights to the child, all of the sudden he now want full or joint custody. I do not know if you think that something like this may happen in your situation or not. Sometimes, instead, if a mother prefers that the father continues to have limited involvement (if that is what is currently happening), the mother may decide to leave things as they are without involving a court. Again, I cannot specifically speak to your situation or to what could happen between you and your child’s father.

[ONLY INCLUDE IF RELEVANT: You mentioned that he doesn’t pay support. You do not need a custody order to file for child support – this usually can be done just by you saying on the court petition that the child lives with you.]

[ONLY INCLUDE IF WE AREN’T SURE IF THE FATHER’S PATERNITY HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED: Establishing paternity is when a biological father does something to legally declare himself the father. I am not sure whether you are/were married to the father (which would establish paternity), but if not, was the father there at the hospital during delivery? Did he ever sign an affidavit of paternity, the birth certificate or any other papers at the hospital? Or is there a child support order from the court or the state? If so, then he may already be legally established as the father. If not, it may be possible that he may have to go to court to file a petition to establish his paternity in order to establish legal rights to the children. I don’t know exactly what he would have to do according to STATE law since each state is different. You may want to talk to a lawyer who specializes in custody to find out if his paternity has been established and, if so, what your rights are under STATE law.]

Again, you might want to first talk to a lawyer before filing for custody to see if that is the best option for you or not based on the specific details of your situation. Here is a link for free and paid lawyers - depending on your income, you may qualify for free legal services:LINK

Here too is a link with info about custody laws in STATE :LINK