Custody & Kidnapping

Even though you both agree to this, do you think there is a chance that the other parent would violate this agreement and take the kids on a visit and not return them. Or try to keep them for longer than you agreed to. If you have any fear about this, you may want to talk to a lawyer about whether you should go to court to file for custody so that you have a written court order saying that you have custody. If the other parent agrees in court, the court case may be short. In some state, one parent can file, and on the return court date where s/he appears in court, both parents may tell the judge they agreed on a custody arrangement and the judge may write up an order to reflect the parents’ agreement - I don’t know the exact process in your state but a lawyer may be able to advise you. If you don’t have a court order and the other parent tries to not return them on the day when you both orally agreed to, s/he may be within his legal rights to do so because when parties are married, they may be considered to both have equal custody rights to the kids. In that case, you might have to go to court then to file for custody and the other parent may be able to have the kids stay with him/her while you are waiting for your court dates.

If you do trust the other parent that you will both stick to your agreement, you may decide that you don’t want to involve the court in a custody case but perhaps you may decide to file for child support – unless you both agree to that outside of court as well. If you decide not to file for custody in court, have you thought about whether or not you might want to write up a notarized agreement with him/her about the custody decisions so that you are both on the same page and know what to expect from each other. Although this agreement likely may not be enforceable in court (or by the police), at least it may show the judge what both of your intentions were if you do end up in court if things don’t work out.

Also, I don’t know if you are planning to get divorced or not but often times, a state may require that custody and visitation provisions have to be included in a divorce. Again, I am not sure if your state would require this but a lawyer may know.

If you want specific advice on your situation, especially if you are thinking about not going to court, you may want to consult with a custody attorney to see if there are any other ways to protect yourself (such as perhaps how to write up an agreement with him). Here is a link to free and paid lawyers:[LINK] and here is a link with information about custody: {LINK}