Changing Your Identity / Fleeing from Abuser

Here are some tips that may be useful for a fleeing victim who is trying to keep his/her new contact information private (and off the Internet). However, I cannot tell you which, if any, of these would work for your situation – this is something that you will have to consider on your own and decide what you think may work best to help keep you safe:

• Many states have an address confidentiality program, which are usually designed to help survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, rape or stalking in their efforts to stay safe by providing a designated address to use when creating new public records. Then the victim does not have to give out their actual address. These services could help to keep survivors’ confidential addresses out of public records and hopefully out of the hands of their assailants. I looked for the address confidentiality in your state and here is the link with information about how to apply. GOOGLE PROGRAM IN THEIR STATE TO LINK TO
• A victim can ask that a child’s school or medical records be mailed to a friend or family member so that they don’t have to give out their address or they can use an address provided by the address confidentiality program.
• A victim can consider renting an apartment with utilities included or put the utilities under a roommate’s name if possible or perhaps a relative’s name if the relative consents. They can ask the utility provider about their privacy policies and find out if they publish or sell customers’ contact information and ask to keep their address and information confidential.
• When a victim is asked by businesses, doctors, etc. for their address, they can give a P.O. box or a safe address or can use an address provided by the address confidentiality program to try to keep his/her true address out of national databases.
• A victim can consider not providing a forwarding address to the U.S. Postal Service or forward their mail to a P.O. Box or they can use an address provided by the address confidentiality program. When someone does a “change of address” through the post office, that address is sold to the National Change of Address Database and the address is then distributed to marketing companies, magazine publishers, etc., which likely makes it easier to find on the internet.
• Many voter registration offices sell voters’ addresses and/or publish them online. A victim can ask for their voter registration information to be kept confidential - some states do this - or they can possibly use an address provided by the address confidentiality program. They can talk to an election supervisor if needed.
• When a business (such as a bank, for example) asks for someone’s Social Security number, they can ask why they need it. It likely isn’t necessary and s/he can refuse to provide it.
• When signing up for an email account, a victim can decline to give their home address or phone number. When signing up for a landline phone, they can ask to be unlisted. A victim should not share their phone number needlessly (with cashiers, for example) - they can just decline to give the phone number.
• A victim can change their passwords to ATM, email, etc. to something the abuser may not guess.
• A victim can ask the DMV, court systems, and other government agencies how they protect or publish one’s information and request that his/her records be sealed and kept confidential.
• If someone sees their name or information listed on various websites, they can contact the website to ask them to remove it. If they ask for one’s personal information to prove their identity, the victim can try not to give more info than they already have because they can sell it.
• A victim can contact the 3 major credit bureaus to place a security freeze on their credit and ask that they be notified before any new accounts are opened in the victim’s name.
• A victim can contact banks, utilities, department store credit cards, phone companies, etc. to place a new or extra password on their account (it is recommended that a victim does not use their mother’s maiden name or something else that the abuser would know).