Technology (iphones, etc)

You mentioned your spouse keeps deleting apps off your phone. Since our website does not address this particular issue, I reached out to a colleague from the Safety Net Project, which specializes in the misuse of technology in abusive situations (https://nnedv.org/content/technology-safety/) for information. It was explained to me that one way an individual may be able to gain access to another individual’s phone, is through a shared cell phone plan. If an individual shares a cell phone plan with her/his spouse, it may be possible for the spouse to access and make changes to the individual’s phone. If the individual is sharing a cell phone plan it may be possible for the individual to ask the company (ie. Verizon, Sprint, AT&T, etc.) to make it so that the spouse cannot access the individual’s account. The company may be able to essentially split the accounts into two accounts, even if one person is still paying the bill. This option may not be available in all situations, but it is worth asking the company. If an individual is sharing a plan and is unable to protect her/his account through the company, s/he may have to consider whether or not it is safe to continue to share an account. Whether or not an individual shares a cell phone plan, it is important to identify what type of phone the individual is using because there are a variety of options that somebody can use to make changes on a phone. However, those options may be different depending upon the type of phone that is being used. If a person has an iPhone it may be possible for their spouse to sign in to her/his “iCloud” account (which is a way that information is shared across different devices on the internet) and make changes to her/his phone’s apps. If an individual does not have an iPhone account, s/he may have an iCloud account even if s/he does not know about it. If an individual has an iPhone s/he should make sure that s/he knows what devices are signed into their iCloud account. For information on how an individual can see who is signed into her/his iCloud account, you may refer to the following steps:

1. Go to appleid.apple.com and sign in to your Apple ID.

2. Look at the Devices section. Click on Details.

3. You will see all the devices signed in with your Apple ID. If you have changed your password, anyone else would have been kicked out and may not appear here any longer.

Though you didn’t specifically ask, it is possible that there is something called spyware on your phone. It is not very common and it should not be your first assumption, however, it is possible. Spyware is very powerful and allows an individual to remotely change the information on devices. More information on spyware can be found at: https://www.techsafety.org/spyware.

(ADD THIS PARAGRAPH IF THERE IS AN EXISTING RESTRAINING ORDER)You also mentioned you have a restraining order. I am not sure of the terms of your restraining order but if an individual has a restraining order against an abuser, and the abuser is signing into her/his account, it may be a violation of the restraining order. It may be helpful for an individual to contact the police if this is a safe option and speak with the police about what is happening to her/his phone. The police may be able to assist with gathering evidence that another individual is inappropriately accessing her/his account. If the restraining order is a civil restraining order, an individual may file for civil contempt for a violation of the restraining order. You may refer to our website for information on what to do if an abuser violates the order. Because signing into another individual account may be a violation of an order of protection, the individual may want to collect and store evidence that another individual has inappropriately accessed her/his account. Since I cannot give you legal advice regarding your particular situation, it may be helpful to contact an attorney to identify your legal options. We have a link for free and low-cost attorneys listed on our (INSERT HYPERLINK TO FINDING A LAWYER PAGE).

Another option may be for an individual to change all of her/his passwords. However, it is recommended that the individual consider whether s/he needs to collect evidence before changing passwords. For more information on how technology can be misused and on how to collect evidence, please go online to https://www.techsafety.org/resources-survivors.