Support

[CHANGE THIS OPENING SENTENCE TO MATCH THE SCENARIO AT HAND:I understand from your email that your fiance disclosed that she was sexually assaulted, and you would like to know if her behavior after the assault, such as communicating with the assailant, is the type of thing a victim of sexual assault would do.]

When a person you care about discloses sexual assault, it is important that you believe them. All victims react differently to being sexually assaulted, and there is no single correct response to going through that type of trauma. It is very common, especially when a person is friends with, is dating, or used to date their assailant, that they will continue to have a relationship with that person. It is also common for victims to not even label an incident as a sexual assault for a long time, sometimes years. Sexual assault and the effects it has on victims are complex, and, again, there is no one response to that sort of trauma.

When someone you love discloses that they’ve been sexually assaulted, they do so because they trust you and want you to be there to support them. It can be very important for victims that their loved ones believe them when they disclose. There is a non-profit website called Start by Believing that talks about this more. To learn more about how to support your fiance, you can read our WomensLaw.org page on helping family members who are victims. While this page discusses abuse/domestic violence generally, and not specifically sexual assault, the information under “What You Can do for a Victim of Abuse” all applies to supporting a sexual assault victim. Additionally, RAINN is a national organization that supports victims of sexual assault, and they have some additional specific information about how to speak to a loved one who has disclosed sexual assault on RAINN’s website here. We aren’t affiliated with them and provide the link for your information only.