Support

You described a years long struggle with the court system, the department of children and family services, and others, to get custody of your children and protect them from their abusive father. Unfortunately, what you have described is not uncommon. Many survivors of abuse, or parents of children who are survivors of abuse, find resistance in the court system. Studies have found that women who allege physical abuse during a custody case are actually less likely to get custody of their children. This is attributable to something that has been dubbed “credibility discounting” that women, and especially women who have survived abuse, face in court. Courts will often succumb to the “grasping woman” stereotype, where the abuser will claim that the woman is simply making up these allegations to try and get an advantage in litigation. Courts too often accept this explanation and then discount/disregard reports of the abused family members. If you are interested, you can read more about this phenomenon in this Georgetown Law Review article. Please know that WomensLaw is not affiliated with this website and cannot vouch for the information contained in it. We provide it for your information only – you may want to verify the information with a lawyer in your state.

I realize that this does not solve your situation, but hopefully it will help you to better understand why it is that you and your children are not being believed through this process, and come up with strategies to combat this stereotype. Through this email hotline, I can only provide information and referrals, not representation or legal advice. I’m sorry there isn’t more that I can do. We do have … [Link to Lawyers, Advocates, Custody, Divorce, ROs, as appropriate]