Support

It can be difficult to try to know the right way to help someone who is being abused when we don’t have a friendship or other relationship with the person. Sometimes it can help to approach the person even to do something small, such as telling the victim that they don’t deserve to be treated how they were treated, which may give comfort to the victim or inspire them to try to get help. Or a person may write down the number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline or our WomensLaw.org website and try to hand it to the victim if they cross paths when the abuser is not around.

When someone witnesses a physical attack, they may have the instinct to call the police. This can be an important tool to try to stop an attack that is ongoing in order to stop the offender from continuing to physically abuse the victim. However, many people and communities experience unfair treatment or violence at the hands of law enforcement and so contacting the police may not feel like a safe option. In addition, if the attack has ended, most likely the police may try to find the victim and interview them. If the interview is done while the offender is in the home or if the offender finds out about it, this may put the victim in greater danger. And even if the abuser is arrested, if the victim is unwilling to testify against the abuser in court, for example, it might be difficult for the authorities to build a case against the abuser. Also, in some cases, the abuser might not be kept in jail for very long if they are picked up by the police, and unless the victim has a safety plan in place, they may be in danger once the abuser is released. For these reasons, if an attack has already stopped, it may be better for a victim to contact the police themselves if and when they are ready to do that.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline has a section of their website dedicated to how to help someone who is being abused other than calling the police – however, some of the tips assume that the person who witnesses the abuse is the victim’s friend or family member and so some of the tips will not apply to your situation.