Support

First, I wanted to address some of the hurtful and demeaning behaviors that you described. No one deserves to be abused, whether physically, emotionally, verbally, or sexually. Sometimes, abusers use put-downs and other tactics to try and convince their intimate partner that s/he “deserves” such abuse or shouldn’t leave, seek help, etc. Many abusers use these threats and put-downs to gain power and control over their victim. Since you mentioned that your ex-husband has had a lot of control over you for a number of years, I wanted to let you know that it is very common for abusive partners to use controlling tactics to try and prevent their intimate partner from leaving the relationship or seeking help. Sometimes it can be hard for victims of abuse to believe in themselves when their abusers exert control and use threats and demeaning language toward them. However, I want you to know that there are local and state domestic violence programs in STATE [HYPERLINK] that may have advocates on staff who can offer counseling or other support. If you wish to talk with someone about how you are feeling and what you have experienced, you might consider reaching out to one of these organizations.

We also have some information on our website about what some of the different types of abuse might look like. Here is a link to our “Am I Being Abused?” checklist, general information about domestic violence, along with specific information about emotional abuse.