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Shelter

.I want to leave- where do I start? What are my options?*

If you feel that you are ready to leave, you may want to start exploring your legal and other options to figure out what is the best way for you to safely leave. I cannot advise you or tell you what to do but I will try to provide information that can be helpful for you to decide what you want to do.

One legal option for someone trying to leave an abusive relationship is getting a restraining order to help get the abuser away from the victim. This could order an abuser to leave the house, stay away from the victim, and provide the victim with temporary financial support (spousal and/or child support). You can see more information about restraining orders on our website. You can also find free and paid lawyers on our Legal Assistance pages.

When someone wants to leave an abusive relationship, sometimes the victim looks for somewhere to stay temporarily while s/he gets on his/her feet - this may be the home of a friend or family member or it may be a domestic violence shelter. You can see shelters on our Local Programs page.

Another major concern for many victims planning to leave is financial resources. I can’t speak to your situation but often someone who wants to leave may be able to file for child support if there are children and/or spousal support if married. However, generally, in most states, this type of money would not kick in immediately – the court process takes time. Sometimes victims withdraw money from joint bank accounts or save up money a little at a time to have money to leave – again, I cannot talk about your situation or about what actions may or may not be legal or available in your state. To figure out how much child support a person may be likely to get, s/he can use a child support calculator from the [STATE] courts website. We are not affiliated with this site, but I provide it for your reference. Spousal support may be more difficult to calculate, as it depends on a number of factors. You can read more about spousal support on our website. (HYPERLINK)

Another possibility for help in making a plan to leave is to talk to an advocate at a domestic violence organization. They could likely help support you and help you make a plan. You can find an advocate on our Local Programs page. You can also see some ways to begin planning for your safety on our website.

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