Safety planning

[THIS SENTENCE IS BEC SHE ASKED IF SHE SHOULD GO INTO THE PERSONNEL FILE TO GET THE PARENTS’ NUMBER: Unfortunately, I am not an expert in employment and privacy law and I
cannot advise you whether this action might violate any laws or internal
policies in your workplace. Apart from that,] you might consider the
possibility that there may a danger in telling your employee’s family about
the abuse without her permission because it might place your employee in
more danger if her parents call her husband and he finds out she is talking
about the abuse with other people.

One option could be to speak with your employee to see if she is willing
to report the abuse to her family herself and/or take other steps to ensure
her own safety. This approach may make your employee feel safer, and she
may be more willing to come to you at a later date if she decides she’s not
ready to leave just yet. It might also make her feel more in control of the
situation.

You may want to speak to her about the abuse, and let her know that you
are concerned for her safety. Our website has a page where friends and
coworkers of abuse victims can find help in how to deal with the situation
here LINK

If she decides that she is ready to take action, you may choose to tell
her about:
• Things she can do to stay safe as safe as possible, whether or not
she’s ready to leave. You can find safety tips here: LINK
• Domestic violence resources in her area. Many domestic violence
organizations offer victims of domestic violence emergency shelter, but
they may also offer other services as well. They may be able to offer her
counseling, individual safety planning sessions, information on resources
specific to her community, and help navigating the legal and social
services systems. We have a list of domestic violence organizations in your
state here:LINK
• Ways in which the authorities can help. Domestic violence is a crime,
and the police may be able to arrest her abuser. Her abuser could face
criminal charges and, if convicted, punishment like jail time or parole.
She can call 911 at any time she’s in danger. Also, many police departments
have domestic violence task forces. If her police department has one, she
may want to ask to speak with a member of that task force, who will be
specifically trained to help victims of domestic violence.
• Restraining Orders. A restraining order can order her abuser to move
out, to stay away from her, to not contact her, and to not hurt her. For
more information on restraining orders and how to get one LINK

If your employee makes it clear that she does not want you to tell her
family and will not tell them about the abuse herself, I’m afraid that I do
not have a good answer as to what you should do. If she is not ready to end
the relationship, reporting the abuse may wind up alienating her from you
and some other forms of support. If her abuser found out, he might
encourage her to quit her job or escalate the abuse. However, getting help
from her family might also help get her to safety. I’m not a professional
counselor, and I do not know the full details of the situation, so I can’t
tell you what will be best. However, I can help you think through it if
you’d like, or a local domestic violence organization may have an advocate
that you can meet with to discuss your concerns. Again, for a list of
domestic violence organizations in your state, go hereLINK

Your employee might also find it helpful to speak to a lawyer who has
experience working with people in similar situations and who might help her
consider legal options. Click here to find a private lawyer referral
service as well as free or low-cost legal services if your employee
qualifies:LINK

I hope this information is useful to you. Please feel free to contact us
again if you have any other questions or would like to discuss it further.