Restraining Orders

You pose a very interesting question and I am not surprised that you have received many different answers. Although in this email hotline, we cannot analyze specific situations, I hope to raise some issues that may help you in coming to a conclusion. Whether or not mediation would violate a stay-away order or a no contact order may depend on how the mediation is structured. In the majority of the cases where there is domestic violence, the mediator will have the parties in two separate rooms and the mediator will go back and forth (known as shuttle mediation). The parties can be down the hall from each other and enter and leave at different times so that there is no physical contact or visual contact. Also, it is often the case where there is a stay-away order but the parties need to be in the same courthouse or courtroom as each other for a certain court case - and the order is not usually modified to allow for this contact.

In terms of the no contact provision, if a mediator is trying to figure out plans for a visitation order or a divorce, s/he may likely be talking to each individual person separately and asking what that person wants. I do not know if a court would consider normal mediation proceedings to be third party contact from the respondent to the petitioner - unless of course the respondent makes a direct threat or statement to mediator to pass along to the petitioner such as, “Tell her that if she takes my kids away from me, I will kill her” or something to that effect.

I am not sure if you are the petitioner on the protection order or if you are writing in on behalf of the respondent but generally, if a respondent is worried about violating a protection order, s/he is the one who may go to court to ensure that the order is modified to prevent an accusation of violating the order (since the respondent is the one who legally is bound to follow the terms of an order). You may want to consult with a lawyer who is familiar with protection orders in your county who can advise you - here is a link with legal services, some of which may be free or low-cost:LINK In addition, the court clerk may also be able to answer this question for you if you call the criminal court where it was issued - or perhaps there is a court attorney on staff who works for the courthouse or for the judge that issued the order who would know.