Restraining Orders

Although I cannot speak to your situation specifically, or how things are handled in your state, generally if a person is charged with a crime, it may not be up to the victim whether or not charges are pressed, whether or not a restraining order is issued, or whether or not the charges are dropped. It may be up to the district attorney/prosecutor whether or not to proceed with the case, and then the judge or jury whether or not to convict him/her. As long as the criminal charges are still being pressed against him/her, it may be the case that a criminal restraining order (or no contact order) will continue.

The prosecutor may be the one to let you know if amending or dropping the order is possible or not. Often times, a restraining order is issued as a policy for all cases of abuse even if the victim does not want one since the judge is taking steps to protect the victim and to try to prevent the abuser from breaking the law again by committing further crimes against the victim. Sometimes, the police and the prosecutor go forward with a domestic violence case even if the victim didn’t ask them to or asks them not to. The reason why this happens is that the abuser has broken the law and the prosecutor has a duty to the state to prosecute those who break the law. The prosecutor technically represents the state’s interests, not the victim’s specific interests.

It may be possible for a victim to tell the prosecutor that s/he does not want the case to continue or that s/he does not want the restraining order to continue (if either of those are true). If the prosecutor doesn’t have any other evidence against the abuser/defendant, perhaps it may be possible that the case will be dropped, but I don’t know – generally, this may be up to the prosecutor’s office to decide whether or not to proceed.

[ADD THIS PARAGRAPH IF SHE ALSO ASKS ABOUT DROPPING THE CRIMINAL CHARGES. IF NOT, SKIP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH:] In general, if someone wants to ask that criminal charges are dropped (although I don’t know if this is what you want to do), it may be possible to discuss the issue with the district attorney to request that the charges are dropped. However, the district attorney can go forward anyway (often known as “victim-less prosecution”) by using other evidence that exists – such as a police officer’s testimony, medical records from the hospital, witnesses’ statements, etc. Often times, the district attorney may also subpoena the victim to testify. Generally, if the judge or prosecutor issues a subpoena against the victim (a court order to testify), the victim may have to testify or face legal consequences for not showing up to court.]

One additional thing to think about when someone is thinking of trying to drop charges or to drop a criminal restraining order is that often times once there is no protection order in place, the abuse will resume. Many people abuse their partners even after they’ve promised not to or even after the relationship has ended. You might want to talk to a local domestic violence advocate before trying to drop the charges or drop/amend the restraining order to see what other options may work for you. We have information on state and local domestic violence programs here: LINK If you succeed in getting the charges or restraining order dropped, you may want to look at our Safety Planning page to help plan for your safety in other ways: https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/safety-tips

In sum, I do not know if the judge would agree to drop/amend the protection order or not - perhaps the prosecutor can let you know whether this is something that may be possible. If you can’t reach the prosecutor, you may want to call the victim/witness advocate that usually works with the district attorney’s office or another crime victim advocate’s office. We link to some crime victim advocate offices on our Crimes page, here: LINK TO THE SECOND QUESTION ON THE CRIMES PAGE [USE ‘ADD LINK’ AT BOTTOM OF THE PAGE]