Restraining Orders

Dropping a protection order in favor of an out-of-court “agreement” is often suggested by lawyers for the defense but lawyers for the victim almost always advise against them. The strength of a protection order is that there are consequences if it’s violated - the police can be called, immediately respond, and arrest the abuser. Or the victim can go back into the court that issued the order to file a motion for contempt for violating a court order and the judge can punish the abuser.

What the lawyer is suggesting is an agreement between two people but if it’s violated, then what? There is usually no remedy to enforce the terms of the order – in other words, no one (not a judge nor law enforcement) can make the other party do what they agreed to. What would the consequences be for violating it? Perhaps the victim could file a civil lawsuit for a “breach of contract” in civil court but that is hard to do on one’s own and it’s not clear what would the result would be – money damages? If you are considering this type of agreement, you may want to talk to a lawyer of your own to ask these questions: 1) How would it be enforced? 2) What are the consequences for violating it? We link to lawyers on our Finding a Lawyer HYPERLINK page.

You mentioned that you risk not getting the order if it goes in front of the judge but this is something that you should ask your own lawyer about. Your ex’s lawyer only has to represent their client’s interests, not yours. You should consult with your own lawyer to ask what the chances are of winning or losing in court in your specific case. Here is a link for what has to be proven to get a final order issued by a judge HYPERLINK– do you think you can prove one of these things occurred? If you do proceed with the restraining order case, it’s often best to have a lawyer represent you especially when the other side has one.