Restraining Orders

When someone is thinking about what they can do to protect themselves, the two options people often consider are going to the police or getting a protection order. However, this can be harder to do when the violence is all verbal and not physical.  Advocates who work with victims and survivors of domestic violence understand that abuse comes in many different forms and they recognize emotional/psychological/verbal abuse as a serious form of abuse. (On our “Signs of Abuse” checklist, we list various signs of emotional abuse in case you want to take a look at it.) Unfortunately, the legal definition of domestic violence is often narrower for the purposes of getting a restraining order [REMOVE THIS NEXT PART IF CALLING POLICE IS NOT AN ISSUE] or for purposes of reporting the abuse to the police.

One thing to note, however, is that if someone is applying for a protection order, instead of characterizing the actions as “emotional abuse,” a petitioner may have a better chance of qualifying for an order if s/he can frame the actions in a way that more closely matches the actions that are covered under the law. For example, let’s say an abuser is calling a victim bad names and rips up the victim’s important identification documents. Instead of focusing one’s petition on the emotional abuse aspect (the bad names), the petition may focus more on the ripping up of personal documents if “destruction of property” qualifies for a protection order in the victim’s state. So, this is why it’s important to see what acts can qualify someone for an order. Does that make sense? In terms of what actions could qualify someone for an order in [STATE], you can see the legal definition of abuse in STATE for purposes of getting an order on our website [LINK TO WHAT IS LEGAL DEFINITION OF DV? QUESTION IN THE RO PAGE (IT’S THE 1ST QUESTION USUALLY).] If you are unsure if you would meet the legal definition of abuse or if you want some guidance as to how to best frame the abuse you are experiencing in the best way to try to qualify for an order, we have referrals to legal organizations on our Finding a Lawyer page. Another option for a victim who isn’t sure is s/he qualifies for an order is to file in court and let the judge decide if s/he qualifies.

[ADD THIS IF SHE ASKS IF SHE CAN REPORT IT TO THE POLICE OR IF SHE ASKS IF THERE ARE LAWS THAT PROTECT HER: Regarding whether someone can report emotional abuse to the police or if it’s against the law to abuse someone emotionally, there aren’t necessarily laws that make “emotional abuse” illegal. However, often actions that are considered to be emotional abuse may come under other crimes, such as harassment, stalking, dissemination of private photos, etc. You can look at our Crimes [LINK] page to read the definitions of some common crimes in your state to see if you think any may describe what you are going through.]

Also, I want to mention that there are organizations that help victims of any form of domestic abuse, including emotional abuse. To get support, to make a plan for your safety, or to think through a plan to leave the relationship if you choose to get out, here is a link for local domestic violence organizations in your state. [HYPERLINK]