Restraining Orders

Different courts and counties may handle this situation that you are asking about differently. Sometimes, for example, a respondent may show up and if the petitioner defaults, the respondent may ask that the petitioner be ordered to pay his/her legal fees because the petitioner filed the order and then failed to show up. I cannot say whether or not a judge in your situation may agree to such a request if it is made or not. In rare situations, it may be possible that a judge may issue a warrant for the petitioner to appear in court if, for example, the petitioner may have mentioned abuse of a child and the judge believes that a child may be in danger. Again, I can’t speak to your situation - however, you may want to get advice from a legal services lawyer as to what generally happens in your situation or you may be able to call the courthouse to ask the clerk if there is a proper way to notify the court that you want to withdraw the order before the court date perhaps. Here is a link for lawyers and courthouse contact information: LINK

One thing to consider is that instead of dropping the protective order, a petitioner may petition to modify the order to change what the order says. S/he may ask the judge to take away some parts of the order (such as the no contact terms) but keep other parts in (such as the do not abuse terms and stay away terms). Some people who want to start some sort of couples counseling, for example, may find this to be a good option. A local domestic violence organization can help you figure out what balance is right for you if you think this may be a better solution for you. We have a listing of organizations at LINK

If you are thinking of dropping the order because the respondent has not been bothering you lately, you may want to consider that some abusers may not bother the petitioner out of fear of violating the order and being arrested. Many abusers continue to abuse their partners even after they’ve “promised not to” or after they swear that they have “changed.” Once a petitioner gets rid of a protection order, s/he will lose all of the protection that s/he had previously and it may even be a strike against her if s/he needs another protection order in the future (i.e., s/he may not be taken as seriously by the judge, for example).

If you decide that changing or dropping your order is right for you, it is often a good idea to plan ahead in case the respondent resumes the abuse. We have safety planning tips available on our website at http://www.womenslaw.org/simple.php?sitemap_id=3, and your local domestic violence organization may be able to help you find resources in the event of emergency in your community.