Know the Laws: North Carolina
UPDATED March 3, 2010
Please consider getting help from an organization in your area before proceeding with court action. To find an organization, please go to the Where to Find Help tab at the top of this page.
- General information
- Who can get custody and visitation?
- What are different types of custody arrangements?
- How does the custody process work?
- After an order is in place
- Child support
General information
back to topWhat is custody?
Custody is the physical care and supervision of a child (under 18 years of age). Physical custody is used to describe the person with whom the child lives on a day-to-day basis. Legal custody is used to describe the person who has the right to make major decisions concerning the child, including decisions about the child's education, health care, and religious training.*
There are two different types of custody arrangements: joint/shared custody and sole/exclusive custody.** Then there is visitation, which refers to the time that the child spends with the parent who the child does not live with.
* NCGS § 50A-102(3)
** NCGS § 50-13.2(b)
back to topWhat are some pros and cons of starting a custody case?
There are many reasons people choose not to file for custody. Some people decide not to get a custody order because they don’t want to get the courts involved. Some parents make an informal agreement that works well for them. Some parents think going to court will provoke the other parent, or they are worried that if a custody case is started, the other parent will suddenly fight for (and get) more custody or visitation rights than they are comfortable with.
If the other parent is presently uninvolved with the child, he or she may become involved just because a case was started. Also, if the other parent fights for custody, the case may drag on for a long period of time, sometimes over a year. You may need to go to court several times, especially if the other parent also wants custody. The court will look into many aspects of your personal life that you may prefer keeping private such as past mental problems, your criminal record, substance abuse issues, and details of your personal relationships.
Before starting a custody case, ask yourself the following questions:
- Will the other parent be cooperative?
- Will he or she fight for custody?
- Is he or she likely to get a lawyer?
- If he or she has a lawyer, will I be able to afford one too?
- The right to make decisions about your child and/or
- The right to residency (to have your child live with you).
We strongly recommend talking to a lawyer who can help you think through if filing for custody would be best for you, depending on the facts of your situation. You can find legal help by clicking on the NC Finding a Lawyer page.
Some people think they should file for custody so they can get child support. While custody and child support are related, you do not necessarily need a custody order to get child support. A custody order will not automatically give you child support. For information on filing for child support, you can contact your local Child Support Enforcement Office or your local courthouse by going to our NC Courthouse Locations page or talk to a lawyer. Also, you do not need a custody order to receive welfare assistance, medical care, and medical insurance for your child, to enroll your child in school, or to allow somebody else to take care of your child temporarily.
back to topShould I start a court case to ask for supervised visitation?
If you are not comfortable with the abuser being alone with your child, you might be thinking about asking the judge to order that visits with your child be supervised. If you are already in court because the abuser filed for visitation or custody, you probably don't have much to lose by asking that the visits be supervised.
However, if there is no current court case, please get legal advice BEFORE you start a court case to ask for supervised visits. We strongly recommend that you talk to an attorney who specializes in custody matters to find out what you would have to prove to get the visits supervised and how long supervised visits would last, based on the facts of your case.
In the great majority of cases, supervised visits are only a temporary measure. Although the exact visitation order will vary by state, county, or judge, the judge might order a professional to observe the father on a few visits or the visits might be supervised by a relative for a few months -- and if there are no obvious problems, the visits will likely become unsupervised. Oftentimes, the father ends up with more frequent and/ or longer visits than he had before you went into court. He may even end up with joint custody.
In some cases, to protect your child from immediate danger by the abuser, starting a case to ask for custody and supervised visits is appropriate. To find out if that is best in your situation, please go to Finding a Lawyer to seek out legal advice.