Know the Laws:
UPDATED August 31, 2009
Information on domestic violence among same-sex partners in the LGBTQ community.
Basic info
back to topWhat does LGBTQ mean?
LGBTQ is an abbreviation for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender/transsexual and queer. “Lesbian,” “gay” and “bisexual” are terms that indicate the direction of a person’s sexual attraction and are considered sexual orientations. “Trans,” (which can stand for transgender or transsexual), is a gender identity that in some way breaks the rules of mainstream culture’s gender boundaries. A person who identifies as trans may be lesbian, gay, bisexual, heterosexual or something else. The “Q” in LGBTQ may stand for “queer” or “questioning” or both. Queer was once, and in some places still is, considered an insult to people in the LGBT community. However, as with various other words that were once negative, this word has been reclaimed and used by the LGBT community.*
* National Resource Center on Domestic Violence (NRCDV), a project of the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “LGBT Communities and Domestic Violence,” available at http://new.vawnet.org/Assoc_Files_VAWnet/NRC_LGBTDV-Full.pdf
back to topWhat is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is about one person getting and keeping power and control over another person in an intimate relationship. It is a pattern of behavior in which one intimate partner uses physical violence, coercion, threats, intimidation, isolation and emotional, sexual or economic abuse to control and change the behavior of the other partner. The abusive person might be your current or former spouse, live-in lover or dating partner. To better understand all of the ways that an abuser can use power and control over a same-sex victim, you can check out what is commonly called the "power and control wheel" at www.ncavp.org/backup/document_files/DVWheel.pdf.
Domestic violence happens in gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight communities and doesn't depend on race, religion, income, ethnicity or region. A person's gender or sexual orientation does not determine whether s/he can be a victim of domestic violence or an abuser.*
Abusers use a number of different behaviors to gain control over their partners, including:
PHYSICAL ABUSE: Grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting, hair pulling, biting, etc; denying medical care or withholding medication; forcing alcohol and/or drug use.
SEXUAL ABUSE: Forcing or attempting to force any sexual contact with the abuser and/or with others; forcing sex after a physical beating; attacking sexual parts of the body; treating you in a sexually demeaning manner; forcing unprotected sex; exposure to HIV and/or other sexually transmitted infections.
ECONOMIC ABUSE: Making or attempting to make you financially dependent on the abuser, e.g., maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding access to money, forbidding you from attending school or from working; stealing money from you; forcing you to spend more than you can afford.
EMOTIONAL ABUSE: Undermining your sense of self-worth through verbal abuse, e.g., constant criticism, humiliation, name calling; damaging your relationship with the children.
PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE: Intimidation; threatening to physically harm him or herself, you or any children; destruction of pets and property; mind games or forced isolation from friends, family, school and/or work; monitoring your whereabouts.
IDENTITY ABUSE: Threatening to out your sexual orientation or gender identity, your participation in S & M or polyamory, your HIV status, your immigration status, or any other personal information to family, friends, co-workers, landlords, law enforcement, etc.*
* "What is partner abuse?" The Network / La Red, http://www.thenetworklared.org/partnerabuse.htm
back to topIs there domestic violence in the LGBTQ community?
Yes. Rates of domestic violence within the LGBTQ community have been difficult to determine due to under-reporting and the fact that most domestic violence work centers on heterosexual relationships. However, it is believed that the rate of domestic violence within same-sex relationships is approximately the same as the rate of domestic violence experienced by women in heterosexual relationships, which is approximately 1 out of every 4 women.* Information on the rate of domestic violence among transgender individuals has been even harder to come by. One survey from the beginning of this decade of approximately 200 responders who identified as transgender indicated that 1/3 of them were raped or physically assaulted by an intimate partner.**
Despite similar rates of domestic violence in the LGBTQ community to the heterosexual community, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons face additional challenges in trying to find help since domestic violence in the LGBTQ community can take different forms than the abuse experienced by straight women. For more information on the forms of abuse specific to the LGBTQ community, go to Forms of abuse.
* "Domestic Violence in Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Relationships." LAMBDA, http://www.lambda.org/DV_background.htm
** Survivor Project, "Trans and intersex survivors of domestic violence: Defining terms, barriers and responsibilities" by Courvant, D. & Cook-Daniels, L. (2000) available at http://www.survivorproject.org/defbarresp.html