Know the Laws:
UPDATED April 27, 2011
This page contains tips to help keep you as safe as possible when dealing with an abusive relationship in a small, rural area.
Following these suggestions (often known as a safety plan) can't guarantee your safety, but it could help make you safer. However, it is important that you create a safety plan that it right for you. Not all of these suggestions will work for everyone, and some could even place you in greater danger. You have to do what you think is best to keep yourself and your children safe.
If you live in a rural area or a small town, there are a few extra things to keep in mind when you're creating a safety plan.
- If you call the police, get to a safe place to wait for them to arrive. You may want to go to a trusted friend or neighbor's house, or to a public place you think is safe.
- If you decide to leave the abuser, think about leaving your area, at least for a little while. Think about it even if you get a protective order.
- Make a plan with a trusted friend who can give you a ride whenever you need one.
- See if your local sheriff's office or police department can help escort you out of the home to get to a safe place.
- See if any local churches, synagogues or spiritual groups can connect you with someone (either a staff member or a parishioner) who would be willing to drive you.
- Talk with a domestic violence advocate at a local organization to see if their organization can provide you with transportation when needed. If not, the advocate may be able to help you make a plan to get a ride when you need one. For a list of domestic violence organizations in your area see our Where to Find Help page.
- Know where guns, knives, and other weapons are. If you can, lock them up or make them as hard to get to as possible.
- Figure out "safe places" in your home – the places where there aren't weapons. If it looks like the abuser is about to hurt you, try to get to a safe place. Stay out of the kitchen, garage, or workshop.
- Try to stay away from isolated areas whenever you can. (We recognize that if you live or work in an isolated area, there may not be an easy way to change this.)
- Travel in groups whenever possible. If you can, have someone in charge of paying attention to safety and what's going on around you.
- Consider leaving the area, at least for a little while. Consider doing so even if you get a restraining order.
- Carry a cell phone if you can, but don't count on it too much. Cell phones may not get good service in some places, and batteries do run out. Ask your local domestic violence organization if they give out cell phones and try to get one to have as a back-up phone. Have emergency numbers like 911 on speed dial. If you of low economic means, you may qualify for a free phone with free monthly minutes from the Assurance Wireless Program, sponsored by Virgin Mobile.
- If you have access to a car, try to always have a full tank of gas in case you need to get to a far-away place in a hurry.
- If you live in an especially cold place, in the winter, keep cold weather clothing (like a hat, scarf, and jacket) in an easy-to-reach place for you and your children. If you can, keep them in your car.
- Be aware of where neighbors live along the road in case you ever need to pull the car over and run to a neighbor for help.
- Be aware that the abuser and other people may know where the shelter is and so you cannot let your guard down when entering and exiting the shelter.
- Think about going to a shelter outside of the area where you live, even if it's only for a little while.
- If you go to a local shelter, you may want to cover your car with protective car-cover. This can help keep the abuser and other people from seeing your car from the street while it is parked in the parking lot.