"I've got all my life to live. I've got all my love to give. I'll survive. I will survive." - Gloria Gaynor
A beacon of hope, strength and empowerment for all women around the world - - watch the music video of I Will Survive. You have the right to live, love and survive!
Denisse Wolfenzon, Program Director, has been a pivotal part of the WomensLaw.org team since 2006. We asked her a few questions about womens rights.
Q) What do you think is the most important thing we can do to end violence against women?
A) Violence against women groups and organizations should work together so that they do not duplicate efforts and achieve more concrete goals and we should continue to advocate for a more effective and responsive legal system for victims of violence. Most importantly however, we should involve men and boys in these efforts.
Q) What can someone do if they are trying to leave their abusive relationship?
A) It is important for victims to make his/her own decision about leaving the abusive relationship. They know better when anyone about when it is right to leave. Advocates should consider every person's situation individually and create a safety planning that is right for them. Safety planning is to think of practical ideas/tips to try to stay safe while still in an abusive relationship, when they are about to leave or after they left the relationship. Talk to a social worker or an advocate about their options.
Q) What can friends and family do to help someone in an abusive relationship?
A) If family and friends want to help someone in an abusive relationship, they can start by listening. Showing their unconditional support and letting them know that they are available whenever they need to be. Never judge someone who is in an abusive relationship if she/he is not yet ready to leave it. Leaving an abusive relationship takes courage, support, resources and time.
Q) How did you get involved in helping victims of domestic violence?
A) My interest started when I was an intern at Madre, an international women’s human rights organization in NYC. I assisted in a research project about Violence against Indigenous Women. Then, I realized the tremendous impact of the legal system in issues of domestic violence and the urgent necessity to provide and disseminate accurate legal information to ensure victim’s safety. WomensLaw.org is a comprehensive website that contains crucial information about domestic violence and sexual assault, and, I believe, a crucial resource for helping women and men who are in abusive situations.
"If you are afraid that the other parent will take your children away without your consent, you can ask the judge to issue an emergency custody order, which most states provide."
You can ask the judge to include in the order that the other parent cannot take the children out of the state, or that the other parent may only have supervised visitation. Custody and Parental Kidnapping issues can be very complicated so it is always a good idea to talk to a lawyer in your state. Find a lawyer in your state or read more about Custody and Parental Kidnapping on WomensLaw.org.
WomensLaw.org receives hundreds of emails to the Email Hotline every year asking about what a father's custody rights are if the mother and father are not married.
Whether the father has custody rights already or whether he would have to go to court to file for custody rights depends on whether his paternity has been established. Establishing paternity is when a biological father does something to legally declare himself the father. A mother's custody rights are automatically established at birth but a father has to do something to declare his custody rights if you are not married. Was the father there at the hospital during delivery? Did he ever sign the birth certificate or any other papers at the hospital? Is he paying child support through the state? If so, you may have already acknowledged that he is the father. If not, he may have to go to court to file a petition to establish his paternity. The specific laws for this are different in each state which is why is can be extremely helpful to talk to a lawyer who specializes in custody to find out if his paternity has been established and, if so, what your rights are under your state's law. You can find lawyers in your state on Finding a Lawyer pages of WomensLaw.org.
Even if his paternity was established, if you disagree with giving him the visitation he wants, you may want to make him file for visitation in court. However, sometimes this could backfire because he may end up with more visitation than you want him to have (or even shared custody). Therefore, it is sometimes better to try to work something out regarding visitation rather than leaving it up to a judge. Talking to a lawyer about what type of visitation you want him to have and what he may realistically end up with if you leave it up to a judge may help you decide whether you want to go forward with a court case or whether you want to work out something informal with him.
Once his paternity is established, it may allow him to have visitation or custody rights to the child but it could also allow you to go to court to get child support from him.
If you need more information about your specific situation please write to the Email Hotline.
back to topSpotlight: NC Legal Empowerment and Advocacy Project
Posted on 15 September 2009, 12:23 pm
The North Carolina Legal Empowerment and Advocacy Project, a joint project between WomensLaw.org and the North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCCADV), is in its second year of service providing help to victims of abuse and their families.
Under the direction of Brenda Rivera-Sanchez, the Legal Project Coordinator, pro bono lawyers in NC are recruited and trained to represent domestic violence victims in court about issues like restraining orders, custody, divorce and housing laws. The project also helps domestic violence victims through the WomensLaw.org Email Hotline and the NCCADV telephone helpline (1-888-232-9124).
Read more about the laws in North Carolina on WomensLaw.org or contact Nina (at) WomensLaw.org for more information about the project.
"If you are in an abusive relationship and need to break your lease or you are facing any difficulty with your land lord, there may be rights in your state that can protect you."
You can read about your specific rights if you live in New York or D.C., otherwise please contact us with your situation and we can provide information for you.
We are looking for people to send us head shots of themselves to be used in our Annual Report (due out in October), which is basically a catalog about WomensLaw.org and the work we do. Your head shot would appear in a photo strip like the one pictured above. The strip will run through the tops of the pages of the report and there will be about 40 different faces. NO identifying information (except your face) will be published in the report.
If you are interested in sending a photo of yourself please email an image to Nina Gilbert at Nina@WomensLaw.org. The picture does not need to be high quality since it will be relatively small. It could even be your Facebook photo or a cell phone pic. The picture does need to have you looking straight into the camera and preferably convey the feeling of being serious, determined, proud and strong. Nina will send you back a model release to sign (digitally or by hand) which will let us use your photo.
We are constantly updating and adding information to WomensLaw.org. To stay up to date check out the What's New on this Site page. Here are some things we recently added:
If you live in New York, read about what to do if you need to break a lease and what your rights are as a tenant on the new Housing Laws page.
Learn about Marital / Partner Rape. It happens to people of all races and classes. You always have to right to say NO, even if its your boyfriend or husband.
If you are looking for information on WomensLaw.org that we do not have or you cannot find, please email your questions or suggestions to the Email Hotline.